I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
