i will never coherently bang her
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Thank you for not boning my boss.
This is classic penis vs brain.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
