I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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