i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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