when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
