It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
