so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize