they need to just BURY HIM!
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
