i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize