just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
your like the ambassador to my penis.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
