He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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