yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
