The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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