Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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