you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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