We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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