OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
