Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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