ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
