He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
