Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
