so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
