i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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