I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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