You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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