last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
