I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
