His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
