All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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