Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I need to align my fucking chakras
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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