apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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