Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
