Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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