??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize
