Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
