but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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