Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
