Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
