There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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