i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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