how can u be prego again
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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