I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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