they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
