Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
