Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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