Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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