i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
