Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
