i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
