either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
