Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
