And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
this boner is exhausting
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
