you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
