spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
