Will you blow on my dice?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
