Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
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