i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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