God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
