Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
