you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
