well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
