Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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