After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
