Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize