All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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