I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
