Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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