When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
