Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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